how much does a girl with no college education know?

that's a question i'd like to pose to anyone in a higher postition than myself at my company where i work. i know it's not a secret i work at wal-mart, and you seriously don't need to be a rocket scientist to work there. not even remotely.

see, i had an interview yesterday, with my store manager and the market human resource manager. we'll call them joe and sherril for all intents and purposes. the whole blog will be about this, so if this kind of thing bores you to tears then stop reading kiddies and move on, for i think i'll bore the shit out of you, so bad that you'll need to listen to 45 or hold on, and commit suicide (not really).

i have the best manager in the world.

i believe that with all my heart and soul.

and this is why.

my career with this company started on septemeber 16, 2007, which puts me there for 5 months. i was hired by a co, let's call him...rich. he was a very nice, soft spoken, but larger than life presence manager. i made sure i thanked him for the opportunity and relished the fact that after more than half of my life of wanting to work there, i was going to get my chance to show a company i believed in, what i could do. i was estatic. more than that, i thought i had finally found my niche, that i was home, that i could change the world being a cashier in a small iowa store.

i knew i was wrong, but i have delusions of grandeur.

whatever.

anyway, at the time, i had an assistant, named...kollin. he creeped me out at first, looking at people like he was the man with the meathook, coming to rip out my heart and eat it in front of my dying corpse.

i'm not even exaggerating, you should meet the guy and then tell me that you really don't get the same vibe after talking to him for five minutes.

moving on--i did my job, and there was some firing and quitting, you know how it goes, and long story short, kollin moved my up to CSM, in 44 days. customer service manager. he believed i could do the job, as did all the others, CSM's i mean, i don't care or didn't care about what everyone else thought at the time.

so hey, now i was in a management postition in a billion dollar a year corporation. wow.

i shouldn't have been. not because i'm not capable, not because i can't do the job, but because at that time, i should have known i wasn't going to get the correct training for my position. and i'm all about training. and also, then schyler got sick with MRSA, which was fucking horrible, and i had to leave shortly after recieving the promotion. i was at home taking care of my son, making sur ehe could get by with this sick disease raviging his lungs.

a month in being gone, i was going to throw in the towel. i almost called the store and told them i'd be there regardless of what was going on at home. i almost said fuck what was going on here, and told them i wanted to come back. but i didn't do anything.

and then out of the blue, joe, remember me telling you about him? he called me and asked me if i wanted to come back, that i did a good job, that he really enjoyed me being here, and he believed in me.

i couldn't talk to him, i cried and told him i'd call him as soon as i could, and then hung up on him, sobbing into my fist like i'd seen so many times on other people.

someone like that believed a little fat chick from nowhere that was nothing was worth their time to call me and ask me to come back.

oh fuck, did i bawl.

i went in there the next day, looking for him. and when i saw his face, i wanted to cry again, just because it hit me right there, you know what i mean? anyway, i ended up coming back and getting everything straighened out. i've been working without many interruptions for almost3 months. my training has been shit. but i've tried to train myself, asking the questions i needed to to learn all about my position. i went to personnel and told them that i felt it was lacking, and they reassured me (they're good at that) and sent me on my way.

now, two weeks ago, almost, i had a short encounter with joe again. they're few and far between, and i like it when he talks to me like an equal, he's good at that. but he came to me and asked me to apply for the personnel manager job that had been recently vacated. i hadn't even thought about it, and it struck me odd that this man i respected asked me to try out for it.

i have HR background for small companies, sure.
i have training background too.
but i have only been with wal-mart for not even five months.

see what i mean?

but i applied, not really caring if i got it, because i knew i wouldn't. hands down i know two other people that have more experience here than i do. i know that there's other people who would be so much better.

but i did, since i respect him.

2 days ago, i had my interview with him. it went well, and at the end he asked me what i thought had made him decide to tell me to apply. i told him that it was the personality that i had, the way i felt about the company, and the way that i tried.

he said yes.

so i walked out of there feeling better about it, but unsure if i did well enough.

he called me an hour later asking me for a second interview. so i said yes.

i waited an hour and a half after my shift to have this interview, since i wanted it to be over with. and i went. there were a lot of things that i didn't know. alot of things she confused me on, not telling me what she wanted to know about, so i was clumsy and not in the right mindset. i knew i would not be getting the position when she told joe she wanted someone who had the knowledge of the store, and all the things around it, and preferred someone with a degree.

but he did something that broke my heart in that interview.

he went to bat for me, telling her how i was so polite and cared about every single person that came in that place. telling her how i was very good at what i do, even though i wasn't there long or had much training. telling her how he believed in me.

i walked away knowing how great this man that everyone can't stand actually was.

i cried.

sad thing is? i can't tell a soul at work how wonderful he is.

and that breaks my heart that a man that works that hard, can't have the person he asked to be in the position since he thought i was worth it, in it.

and again, i'll pose the question.

how much does a girl with no college education know?

more than someone who has one. i know that a man that i respect and care for in a professional setting, is wonderful, and for the rest of my life, i will always remember how much he meant to me, personally and professionally.

thank you joe becker. thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me.

you are appreciated too, sir.